I don't see weight-loss as too difficult in my position, I don't have any complications that would prevent me from doing it. At least physically. If I override my inner desires with will-power, it works all right. But this is not a way I want to be doing it. I don't believe it makes sense to do ANYTHING without being fully on board, to the deepest, unconscious layers of personality. I think otherwise you end up as one of the yo-yo dieters who have enough will-power, but not the unanimous decision of their whole being.

What I need most is to come to such a complete conclusion, either about just staying the way I am or losing the weight. But balancing somewhere in between the two is just not what I'm comfortable with.