I won't pretend to know the extent of your ego defenses/where you lie on the spectrum, and I won't assume I know what you've been through in your journey, but I must admit, I laughed a bit to myself when I read this post considering the forum section.

Not all narcissists are handicapped by an unwillingness to accept their fallibility, or some deep aversion to the potential of therapy. It's well argued that the people who use NPD defenses who deny their level of dysfunction are generally the most resistant to change. I generally agree with this. But this is true of anything. Cynicism and indifference both create formidable obstacles to change.

Confronting the comprehensive nature of a personality disorder/ego defense mechanisms can be a bitter pill to swallow. I was only recently diagnosed at the age of 40, but I've known something was wrong with my processing for at least the past 8 years. After a good deal of reading, and some prodding by my girlfriend, I came to the conclusion that the best way to confront this must be a complete and utter surrender to therapy and self-help, and owning my complicit use of these habitual and toxic routines. It makes intuitive sense that in order to shed the protective bark of a a false persona/ego, one would need something like radical vulnerability and self-acceptance of a fallible person, which is what we all are.

So far, self-policing of defensive behavior, and non-judgmental acceptance of myself, my flaws, and my memories, in conjunction with exercises to massage the nerve of empathy, I've been seeing notable improvements.

It's important to remember, you aren't a disorder. Pathologizing yourself (as my shrink calls it) is unethical to yourself, and moreover, it's inaccurate.You're a unique person who is using bad coping mechanisms and we simply need to uninstall those, and retrain ourselves, however long that takes.

My two cents.