can you call your T and get some support? maybe accountability would help at this point? or just hearing her talk?
I've gone through periods like this, where nothing seemed to work. When I did end up self-harming after so long of a build-up without relief, it always ended up being more out-of-control than I felt comfortable with. Would going for a walk or run help? could you take the dogs for a hike? Maybe call T and then take the dogs out?
Also, as breadfish mentioned, could you reach out to your parents? Maybe they could help with accountability? I know it can be difficult to give up that sense of freedom in the momet, but maybe it would be helpful? Maybe one or both could join you on a walk?
I know it can be hard and frustrating. I hope you are able to find some relief from the urges and still stay safe.