Thanks guys for the advice, it really means a lot to me.

I don't really have contact with my T out of sessions, so I can't contact her. She did tell me about the crisis line at the place she works but I will not talk to a stranger, plus I believe that the person who does it is a guy, and that is a double whammy.

Everyone in my house has left so I am all alone. I have relapsed some, but they are minor scratches. The urges haven't gone away, and now I am alone, so they have gotten increasingly worse.

Where I live it is too hot for me to go out, as I have a heart condition... so no walking the dogs. BUT I did get to watch them roughhouse and play with each other in the house, and watched a good movie I liked.

I did make my bird some mash (a mix of fruit, seeds, veggies, all mashed together) and watched him get so thrilled and now he is a mess :P I am trying but I don't think I can fight it. Tomorrow, I have an assessment for the PHP my T wants me to go to. I didn't want to have cuts on my arm, but at the same time, I don't give a **** anymore.