As a result of having AvPd and BPD also...I have missed out on a lot of the things that 'normal' people have had in their lives and I'm now to old to ever have them but I'm ok with that now. My biggest fear is looking like a fool in front of others. I have been humiliated so many times in my life, it remains a huge fear for me. I fear that I will have lived from birth to death without ever having experienced real joy.