If he only knew, that bastard, how he made me feel all those years ago.........would he, could he, should he be sorry? I think not. He never told my mother the truth. Even on his death bed. He took the truth to the grave with him.
Is he in HEAVEN now............I hope he's burning in HELL!!
For the better part of my late teens to my mid 20's, I never slept in peace. I cat napped most nights. Always feeling like someone else was in that room with me. I had to pretend to be asleep. My mind tells me he tried to awake me by stroking my head and repeatedly saying " hey red, want to do something"???? Was I dreaming? Could my mind have played tricks on me? When my mom told me he would disappear from their room for 2 hours at a time...
WHERE WAS HE???? I shun to think of it now.....I have to be sure I didn't cause him to do that to me.....but why? I never understood that before. For years all I thought about was "killing" him.....so violently that it scared me. I could be very violent at times for the right reasons. He was a Marine
back then, a Vietnam Vet. He's no hero in my book!
It is said that "God" never gives us more than we can handle???? WHERE'S THIS LOVING GOD WHEN YOU NEED HIM???? I was a young girl....the last of the true VIRGINS........but virginity is a crime, not a virtue. Now all I feel is a deepened loss for who I was.....I don't even know if I know who I am now. Such a tragic eventful life for some of us...........WHY????