I'm almost 20 and I attend a large university which means I'm now at the age where my entire family is starting to find it weird that I've never had a boyfriend/date/kiss and their constant questioning is just driving me over the edge because it's something that I've always questioned and now they're just validating it.

I never show people my depressed side, so it's not like they're sensing that and avoiding me because of it. This is not my mental disorder talking. This is the normal response of anyone who has literally never been told that they are loved, they are beautiful, or that they are a good person by any outside factor (and if you reply, please don't tell me that I'm loved/beautiful/a good person, because you have never met me or seen me, so you're lying).

The only person on this entire Earth who loves me is my mom, and she's a normal person who gave birth to me, so she doesn't have much of a say in the matter.

I just want someone to tell me that they CHOOSE me. That of all the people in the entire world, they saw me and wanted ME.

I LOVE MYSELF and I can't figure out why people can't love me the same way.

Sorry if I'm rambling. I just had to get this off of my chest. I'm going to die alone and nobody's ever going to love me. I'm always going to be my only fan.