Everyone makes me feel like everything I do is wrong. The other day at work, i was trying to be useful and find something to do while things slowed down at my station and a coworker yelled at me saying we had silverware to roll that has, to my knowledge, just came in that was more important than what I was trying to do and to "not just stand around". I am a horrible waitress, It gives me terrible anxiety, both socially and mentally and I sometimes get orders wrong. I do not have best friend or even a group of close friends. I am no one's favorite person and I sometimes feel like i have a very very dull personality when I am with people who give me social anxiety. I hate myself a lot and wish I was someone else. I am ugly and annoying and no one likes me. My friend who i lost my virginity to is a terrible person who made me feel like having sex with him was the right thing to do and my ex boyfriend left me super easily and without a fight even though he told me he cared a lot about me and had a new girlfriend not even a month later. I haven't had an actual boyfriend since and no one has ever caught interest in me since. I feel worthless and stupid. I can't deal with it anymore and I want to be someone else. I seriously hate myself. So much.