How did this friendship LAST 30 years with her harping on you like that? That's what I"m wondering! lol

I think you do need to set boundaries, very firmly. You don't have to counter-attack to do that. Tell her that you won't tolerate her criticisms any more. Or counter them by telling her you disagree with her. I know it's easier said than done, but sometimes you just gotta do whatcha gotta do.

Angela