I felt the same way about fearing my mom's example and when I became pregnant I did NOT want to be the kind of mother she had been. (she was the enabler to my dad)

I grew up in the same home...drinking and some hitting. My dad has never said anything much about those days either. I'm no longer angry with him. I have a very poor relationship with my mom mostly due to her actions and words to my children. They don't want to see her at all...she's grossly inappropriate and they don't much like her.

I see a therapist and try to be the kind of mom I want to be and who I think my daughters need. (they live at home with me and they are both in college)

Good luck to you! It's sometimes hard to realize just how much a parent has influenced us and how much it has damaged us, but there is hope. None of us has to carry that thinking or action into our relationships with adults or our children.

Let us know how it's going...Cat