Quote:
Originally Posted by robcalher
I certainly don't mind you asking. No, I do not make friends with people easily, if at all. As a matter of fact I have no friends. I am a loner. I have high anxiety around people and social situations so that doesn't help. I've been independent pretty much all my life until recently. I just moved in with my mom, brother, and her friend. I have trouble getting "close" to people. As this is when you become vulnerable. I used to use alcohol to ease my anxiety so I used to have a lot of drinking "friends" but we all know those are not real friends. I have had close friends and girlfriends in the past but I have been stabbed in the back one way or another by about 80% of them. I have been taken advantage and used many times. So I do not open up easily. A lot of brick walls around me. So I know what it's like to be used/manipulated and also know what it's like to be lonely. Know what it's like to be defensive too. So if you don't have many friends and are afraid of losing this friend for fear of being lonely, I can completely understand that. It will not be worth getting burned/hurt in the end though. Especially if you've invested so much in this "friendship." Which it sounds like you have. As someone else mentioned, her pushing you away at times could be defense mechanism. As it is something I have used consciously and subconsciously in the past. To me it still sounds like the manipulative/using part. So to answer your main question again, no it is very difficult for me to make and/or keep friends.
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Thank you so so much for taking the time to write all that and share your story i honestly appreciate it so much it is such a good insight. Is it fair to say ADHD can make it hard to make and keep friends because others react in an unpleasant way you kind of isolate yourself to protect yourself? My friend does that it is almost as if she is hiding her ADD from people cause she is embarassed and anxious.
My friend drinks a lot... Well i say a lot we're 18 so technically it's the 'norm' at this age but she drinks excessively when she does drink to the point she is paralytic. Did drinking alleviate the ADHD or exasperate it? In a way it's a blessing that you shy'd away from those backstabbers and users so you could be happier, i understand how you must feel as my friend has barely kept any friends since about 4 as her mum is best friends with the other girl's mum so they kind of stay in eachothers life cause of that. But i have seen her breakdown saying she "has no friends" although i was there and her family friend she claims her 'friends' are the people she hangs out with instead of who is there for her.
You got to protect yourself there is nothing wrong with that and i think anyone who tries to hurt and break other people down tend to act out cause they've got a lot of hurt and frustration within them. As i always say 'it is easier to point the finger than to look in the mirror' so maybe my friend might find it easier to blame me for this that and the other as a defence mechanism for having so many other backstabbers and users blame her. Maybe you could be the same i don't know though.
I am always here if you'd like someone to talk to cause no one should be alone
Claire