The first thing that came to mind was trying to end my life in my freshman year of college. (Which obviously wasn't successful because I'm still here.) But I put all different conditions on it. I had met a guy online that I was meeting with, and I decided that if he stayed over, I wouldn't do it. He chose not to stay over. I flipped a coin a few times, letting it decide my fate. It eventually gave me the answer I wanted. I reached out to my closest friend, but I got her voicemail. Maybe my biggest decision was actually leaving her a voicemail. Because she called back a few minutes after I cut my one wrist--and was freaked out. And she drove for about two hours to come get me, staying on the phone with me most of the time. And that led to me getting help, though not the best help because it was university counseling. But if she hadn't called, can't say for 100% what I would have done.