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Old Jul 06, 2015, 06:31 AM
Wonderfulness Wonderfulness is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2015
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I just read up about Factitious Disorders and I'm confused.
A test I did (with a professional) when I was younger stated that I was highly anxious. I do feel like people are judging me sometimes, I'm usually scared/worried about something, and there are many opportunities that I missed because fear. It's hard for me to talk to people — this doesn't make sense to me, but it's how it's always been.
Physically (sometimes): hyperventilation, this buzzing feeling in my chest, and on occasion, a sense of detachment from my body, like I'm only an observer inside my body— my body is just a shell around me and I can't really feel anything.
There are also times when I get compulsive and repeatedly check to see if something's been done properly (though it's not major).
I like having answers, and not having a solid 100% accurate one make me nervous sometimes. E.g, I've always been good in math (not trying to boast here) but when asked to explain, I get nervous because — what if I get it wrong this time? I pass by cops and get all twitchy too, even though I've never done anything illegal in my life. Sometimes I even doubt my own sexual orientation.
I do feel fat sometimes even though I'm underweight, and a situation with a friend caused me to lose my appetite — situational depression, the counselor said.

But sometimes it feel like I'm exaggerating and acting. Like, I'm sad about stuff, but not as sad as I claim. Sometimes my actions is so people might take notice and ask what's wrong. I don't exactly want pity, but sometimes I just want to know people care, because it feels like people hate me sometimes. I talk to people a lot about me too, and what I'm feeling. I've been to counselors and at some point, I wonder just how bad I'm trying to make it sound, because sometimes, I take a step back, and it doesn't even feel THAT bad, why am I even going to see someone about it? Lots of people have been through worst, and not a lot are very keen to talk about it. How do I know what I feel is real?
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Camperniki, tealBumblebee