It is! Take it from me... that's why I've stopped trying to please people except those that I love dearly... and then, I have limits to how much I do or try to do.
As far as being controlled, I have a built-in radar that sounds the alarm when someone is trying to control me. Instead of saying "Alarm" it says "REBEL!!!!"
I feel for your aunt, Fuzzy. Some people never wake up to the fact that they are being victimized.