I avoid people who make me feel like s***

Yes, adults will use words and communicate in a different way than kids. Sometimes they will use a word to refer to something else. I do this if I want to talk about something adult to another adult and there is a kid in the room. For example, I'm not going to talk about sex in front of a kid, but I might want to communicate something about it to another adult.

I agree that as a general rule most people don't speak in codes, unless they know each other very well and it's a kind of communication short-hand or it involves drugs.

When I talk to someone new, it is often about trivial stuff because you got to start somewhere. If I'm the one striking up a conversation, I often begin with a comment about something in the current environment, what's happening around us, something I see. These kinds of interactions are often short/minutes by nature.

Asking open ended questions is good "What do you think about ____"