He kept a huge secret from you, significant enough that it falls under the category of lying in my book.

That would be a dealbreaker for me. People teach you about themselves, if you pay attention. They teach you what sort of people they are, what their moral standards are, whether or not you can trust them, how much they actually do or do not care about you.

He has taught you that you cannot trust him, and that he will lie to you, and keep important secrets from you. He has also taught you that his words do not mean jack. He says he'll do something, then does nothing towards it.

Frankly for all you know his pity parade about his wife being a cheater is a lie, just to make you feel sorry for him. How would you know? All you know is that he is capable of lying and keeping secrets, but not so much keeping his word.

And yet your big concern is whether or not he thinks his wife is hotter than you. Indicates to me that your self-esteem and self-respect is extremely low, making you the perfect target for some slimy lying user who uses pity plea excuses.

Straight up, you are in emotionally dangerous territory right now. Be careful if you choose not to run for the hills.