i've been trying to post for the last week, and it just has not been happening. there are so many things i wanna get out of my head, i just wouldn't be able to say it all and make sense of it. i've got too many thoughts jumbled up in my head.

i think i'll start posting a lot more. school is getting to be a big burden. i'm starting to think quiting therapy was a bad idea. i know i didn't want to be there and my mom didn't want to risk being seen by any people she knew, but i have no one to talk to right now. i have a friend that sees a T regularly, and he's just kinda blowing it off. he tells me things that he doesn't tell his T and he might regret that one day. he's got his issues, but he also has help that he should use to his advantage. the whole time i was in therapy, i never told the straight truth. i always made things sound a little better than they should. my T didn't know any better. I just wanted to get out of there. seems to be a bad idea now.

if i didn't know any better, i'd report myself to the school counselors. all through out therapy i still si-d, i overdosed once (never told anyone), and just of late i've been drinking. that's not a problem, i'm sobering up. can't afford to get in trouble with the cops.

but that's just life i guess. just sucks. i always feel like i come here and blab about nothing, and i probably do. just tell me if i do. i don't wanna waste anyone else's time. well...g'nite, or good morning. which ever. ((((hugs))))