Hi all,

I have a girlfriend. We will be married next year. We have been great friends since 1.5 years. I have become habituated to her presence.

Now, for a period of three months she is off to some place. We are in daily contact by email and chat. In this period of absence, several doubts have cropped up which I never entertained when she was with me.

I miss her but only as a friend. I dont seem to be missing her madly.

I dont find her physically attractive. This wasnt such a big issue earlier but now it suddenly assumed importance. Actually before being my girlfriend, i know guys (some of who were my friends) who would laugh and say she was ugly or something to that effect. All this time i ignored such thoughts bcoz i felt i shudnt encourage them. As a person she is good, caring and has all the qualities a normal person has. Even now I think the real person is what matters and after a time like 1.5 years physical looks shudnt be an issue. (we never had sex. It is not common from where I come to have premarital sex.). But somehow the opinions of ppl which didnt take shape till now suddenly gained in strength. I am somewhat ashamed of this decision now. Please try to understand. I know "this is not reasonable or acceptable. All these are immature thoughts and I should have thought about these earlier." But now I cant seem to help it.

Having such thoughts makes me wonder...Am I sick and unfeeling? Is it normal? Will I get over these doubts in time? Is this just a passing phase?

Most importantly, do I love her? If I did, I should not have got these doubts, right? Also why dont I have strong feelings like missing her badly etc.?

I know that I will not fail her. Irrespective of my feelings, I will go ahead with my commitment to care for her as much as possible and love her as much as possible. But if I dont feel srongly for her, will I be deceiving both of us?

If anyone has been through something similar, please share it with me.

Thanks!