Update: Well, that did not go as hoped. My date was pretty and smart and she had been honest about everything she told me, but I just didn't click with her. I found her a little too aggressive, loud, negative, and overbearing. She was also too touchy-feely for me and made me very uncomfortable. She overstayed her welcome and made me feel trapped. I realized i have a difficult time being assertive when I think I'm going to hurt the other person's feelings, but I don't know how to change that. I don't know what I should be doing or saying differently to make the other person "get it" that they need to give me more space. She didn't do anything "wrong"; she was just too much for me. Unfortunately, I was clearly not effective in conveying my feelings because she wants to see me again and thinks everything went well. I honestly don't know what signals/messages I send to other people, because in my head I think I'm being clear about not being interested-- but the message is not getting across. I will talk to my therapist about this next session, but she's not usually very helpful about this kind of stuff.

I also think I feel "guilty" when someone likes me and I don't like them back. I would like to be in a relationship, but when I meet people who want to date me-- I just have not being feeling it with them. I also think it may have been too soon for me to go on a date after that thing happened to me. This girl didn't do anything inappropriate, but even her touching my arm made me squirm. I don't like being touched the first time I meet someone and I told her that before we met but, like everyone else, she didn't seem to believe me or take me seriously. I felt so claustrophobic by the end of the date that I just wanted to be alone. I still want to be in a relationship eventually, but maybe I just need to be single for now. It's really hard to find someone I am interested in and it's really hard to find someone who is willing to move as slowly as I need them to-- which I always tell people about before meeting in person (it just goes in one ear and out the other it seems). And I have trouble being really assertive in person. Like, I'll get up and go to the bathroom or move away or say "gee, I think I'm going to go and look at that over there" and walk off.I find it hard to actually say "get your hand off me" when I'm on a date and still figuring out whether I like someone or not. I will say it if someone is being way too aggressive, but it's kind of a mood killer and puts a negative spin on things if I have to bluntly tell someone to not touch me or sit further away from me one hour into meeting them. I need to learn how to find a good way of asserting my boundaries without making it seem like I'm rude or weird. Any ideas?