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Dear RisuNeko. Thanks for your reply. I feel now I'm totally loosing "the plot", each day I promise myself in the morning I'll eat just the one small thing per day as I was a few months ago when I was at my acceptable lightest, and every evening I completely **** it up, like you I can be a night eater. Sometimes waiting until every bodies in bed and then going back downstairs to eat whatever I can lay my hands on, then I feel so sick and hate myself. I feel like sclicing away at the fat on my belly, which is actually not to terrible now but if I continue eating as I am, ALL of the gained weight will go around my tummy ~ ugh. I've also done the same with alcohol, I have in the passed smuggled wind up to my bedroom and snuck up there and polished off the whole bottle. Alcohol makes me not care, and then I still end up not only drinking, but eating too much after drinking a whole bottle of wine. I feel panicky and frustrated, extremely, why did I have to have this rotten life ruining ED? 30 years on and I'm STILL fighting exactly the same battle ~ it's VERY VERY depressing and tiring. HUGS. Xxx
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