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Old Jul 06, 2015, 08:08 PM
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eskielover eskielover is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 25,077
Quote:
Originally Posted by -jimi- View Post
Yes, their standards are really high. One wants her life to be different from the beginning, but you cannot go back in time. The other one strives for perfection at work and also total normalcy at home. She always gets mad at her family because they are not totally normal and she feels shame. Both also want to be skinny and beautiful.

I really wish I could help them break this pattern because they are pushing people away and that makes them unhappier.

I don't think this is OCD at all.
Honestly, it's NOT your place to help them break this pattern. You might be able to mention to them that it seems to you that they are pushing people away by their behavior & that you observe that it's making them unhappier.....but in reality....it comes down to their wanting to change in the first place....maybe they are satisfied with their life the way it is or maybe they don't want to put the effort into any change that might be needed.

Also the complexity of issues that are underlying things like this go far beyond just an untrained person's abilities to deal with......we can only offer them our perception of how we see them & suggest that they get help....but in the end...it ALL UP TO THEM.
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