I have to say that the most difficult decision was to finally leave my bad marriage after 33 years......after my mother died, I kept my inheritance in MY trust account & didn't merge it with our joint money. It took me a year after my mother died to be able to go back into the house & clean it up & get it sold because of the trauma I went through with the home care person who had manipulated her way into caring for my mother....ended up dealing with PTSD from that....but it was about1 1/2 years later I finally went 2100 miles away to look for a farm that I had always wanted to own all my life & live in the country.....I finally had the money to do it ON MY OWN. Initially I hadn't decided that it was the end of the marriage, but while at my farm, getting it fixed up, I realized just how happy & peaceful my life finally was. I gave the marriage one more attempt on MY turff then for Christmas....but 2 weeks into January, I kicked him out & back to the house we owned 2100 miles away. It was hard to split up our 4 legged eskie children....but I kept the 7 that I was closest with & let him take the other 5 back home with him. It was only after that I found out that he had hidden the IRS back taxes letter that had been received & ended up having to deal with that just like I had to deal with everything else that ever happened in the marriage....so even though I kicked him out of my life, he was still having his impact & it wasn't possible to get a divorce at that time because of how complicated it would have made the payment of the IRS & in the mean time he put the house that we both owned into foreclosure & the lender was after me about that. I still have one more issue that needs to be resolved & then the divorce can be finalized....but there are always some priorities that keep coming up that require money I need for the divorce & he has no money to file & basically said that he didn't want a divorce because it proved that he was a failure.....well, that was already proven. It bothered me about what went on for all those years....it so felt like abuse.....but I couldn't put my finger on it until I started doing some research last year & finally figured out what I had been dealing with all those years & that I was actually dealing with a form of PTSD that comes out of a bad relationship.

Putting all these pieces of the puzzle together has just continually proved that leaving that marriage & moving 2100 miles away to where I have my peaceful farm & even though I didn't know anyone when I first moved here, I am now surrounded by the most wonderful friends & church family I have ever experienced in my life. The only person I had to break off any relationships with was my H because everyone else in my life is no longer living other than my daughter & even our relationship is getting better. It's has been able to show me just how dysfunctional my whole life had been starting with my parents....but it proved to me that just because one has a bad start, it doesn't mean that it's going to end the same way.