I can relate to what you're saying and it's a bit like Robbie Williams 'Feel'. You know the bit that goes, "I don't want to die, but I ain't keen on living either." It sucks being caught in the middle doesn't it. But you'll be alright. My favourite quote (and I think I'll put it up as my signature) is :
"Everything is ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end." This keeps me going everyday. Keep on at it and you'll get there.