(((((hugs)))))

I reached my forgiveness well after the time my parents passed... something about seeing them as very fraile people.. they were in their 80's... also something about not forgiving took so much from me... with my ex-husband, if I ever want to have a true relationship with another man... I just had to reach a certain level of forgiveness so that I could open my heart...
I would not consider a realtionship now.. but in 10 years or so.. maybe..
My pedaphile, well I just don't know... I work everyday at forgiving other people more - ones that have no understanding for the terrible physical pain alone.. I have trouble forgiving the narrow minded people that blame me for "allowing" "it" to happened and that are "grossed" out by what did happen.. That forgivenness, I work on every day - because people "try and convict" me on top of my being abused - it is like being victumized twice.. Sometimes I am not sure which one is worse - the pedaphile or the people.

There are days that I "long" for someone to say "Oh, I am just so sorry for what you went thru" "Oh, to be sodomized must have horrificly hurt" "oh, you must have been scared out of you mind having no one to talk to, having been in the "old" days where No abuse was ever talked about - not in homes, churches, magazines, TV"

And finally, I always have wished for "someone to hold my hand" until the pain passed.. but there is never any one there.

No one still feels comfortable offering this.

I am sorry that I high jacked this thread.. I don't know I just really, really need to say that.