It hurts a lot when people don't seem to reciprocate.

How long do you know someone before you start opening up a lot? There's a high chance that your pace may be a lot faster than what others are comfortable with. I can be on either side of that - and either people close up on me... or I close up on them.

Sometimes if you push too hard, well, it can scare people. They'll get that sense that someone is going to end up being clingy and will want to bolt - even if they aren't correct.

It sounds like you want people to trust and confide in you before there is an established amount of trust or confidence in each other - some people take longer to trust and open up. You say that you want to help them... but that isn't helping them, because you're not ok with their pace.

Some people don't want to be fixed, or don't like to drag others into their baggage. Sometimes it helps to share, but they likely have friends they've known longer who have the trust and history built up whom they share with. It doesn't mean that they don't like you, just that they have different boundaries than you do and you might be violating them in a misguided attempt to help and bond.

And being a drama queen? Yeah, that never, ever helps. It's almost guaranteed to push someone who's already getting edgy to leave. You can start correcting your cognitive distortions when you start throwing a frustrated fit - if you look at the posts you've made, yeah, they really DO sound very selfish. If you're being selfish, then everything is about you, so of course you will take everything personally. Once you start to remember and consider the perspective of the other person... then you can help yourself stop taking it so personally.

You say that you're always on the outside looking in... and that made me think of well, a metaphor I guess.

So there's an experiment where you can poke something through a balloon without popping it. All you need to do is have the balloon coated in dish soap. But you still have to be careful. If you push too hard and too fast, you'll still pop the balloon. If you go too slow it'll slide off. If you go just right the stick will go through the balloon. Same could be said for bubbles - if they hit each other too fast they pop. If they hit each other slower they'll stick together and sometimes meld.

From the things you say in this thread, and from past threads... you likely push too hard too fast for the things that you want... and you might be missing the needs and desires of the other person. There's balance, but it can be hard to find.