My mom died when I was a young child and I lived with my grandparents since then. She was a very loving woman and family & friends of our family always told me how much I resemble her and how she also loved to write. I just don't understand why when I grew older, some family members started saying hurtful things to me and about me (within earshot) to other people. I am a very sensitive and emotional person especially since I carry my mother's death with me still, even though she's been dead for 14 years now.

I've been made to feel like I'm the black sheep of my family although I am sure there are other members who have actually done worse things than I have. They just don't understand how hurtful their words have been to me. There have been times when I'll break down and cry and become angry with myself and repeat those same words to myself knowing none of it is true. But it's embedded into my mind and I can't shake it that easily.

I wish they knew how much their words stung when they spoke them to me. I remember a lot and although I moved away from home earlier this year, those words have followed me. I try not to let them get to me since I'm trying to start a life of my own out here. Just gets hard sometimes, especially when I receive texts from some of them saying they love and miss me. Hard to believe them when they're the same people who cursed me and shamed me for being me.

Just needed to vent somewhere...