Well, my T has been in therapy a total of 15 years, long term with two therapists, 5 years and 10 years...

so..... she knows something of my experience and she's done her own version of depth psychotherapy and I know that it wasn't only because she was a practicing therapist, she told me some of her struggles, so I know she's had them and worked through them.

She even told me how her therapist sort of mothered her too in a way.

But it doesn't translate into perfect understanding, though I bet things could be a lot worse. I don't think she... gets my volatile feelings all the way, all the time. I know she says her issues were not as tough as mine, for example, in terms of trauma. And she never (as far as I know) attempted therapy as intense as mine, doing this multiple sessions per week version, which has some differences.

But I'm very glad she's been through therapy, it clearly makes a significant difference. I'm sorry your T seemed dense when you discussed it with him! He may have done therapy light if he didn't have major issues to work through nor attachment ones.