You (both) are going through so much rainbow.... there is no proper way to deal with the situation and you (any one of us, really) can only cope as best we can, from whatever life throws at us.

Just keep reaching out for T if/when needed. T seems to really care about you, so i doubt she’d take any pushing away the ‘wrong’ way, if that makes sense or simply just let you shut down without doing anything about it.

I am very sorry rainbow. Best to you and your H..