((((((sleepy)))))

You are NOT wasting anybody's time and you are not blabbing about nothing. What you have to say is important, and it is important that you are heard and supported. We're here to do that.

It sounds like you've been doing a lot of deep thinking about this therapy thing. I like the conclusions you have reached. I know what you mean about hiding things from your T. I did that a lot, but not even intentionally. It's a way of self-protecting I think. Not letting the T get past that shell to where they might acutally matter to you, be able to judge you, and maybe hurt you. At least that's what it was for me. But I found I got a LOT more out of therapy the more trust I placed in my therapist.

You are still very young. You will have chances in your life to get another T. When you do, remember the lessons that you learned this time around and take them with you into therapy.

Have you shared your thoughts about this with your friend, btw?

As for not having anyone to talk to, I'm so sorry you are so alone in 3d. I know it's hard and painful. You always have us, though. And we care about you LOTS. So keep on posting your feelings here.

((((safe hugs))))) if you want them
Angela