I think I understand, at least partially. I was totally obsessed and in love with my first T. I thought I would never forget her. Though I knew a little about transference, I didn't really get it. When I left that T, I was devastated. I thought what we had was so special and I was so attached to her!. Since then, I had similar feelings for two other Ts, including my current one. Each time it's been because I continued my pattern of attachment. Yet those feelings were real, though each time I transferred them to my new T.

So, the feelings were real each time, but they did fade when I saw someone else. That's the thing about therapy and transference. People aren't totally transferable though. My current T and I have a closer relationship than I had with the others. Even if I were to see someone else, it wouldn't diminish what she and I have. So I don't think you manufactured your feelings. You really felt them, but you can still have a pattern of what you need, so you'll feel those same feelings for different Ts of others, until you work through the attachment.

I'm not sure I'm making sense but I know what you're wondering about. You're not alone.