Quote:
Originally Posted by Claire2015
Just a quick question does Adhd make you more vulnerable to being bullied or easier to influence to become a bully? My friends have a hard time when they're told that someone doesn't like them or their behaviour is horrible/obnoxious/ intimidating. They will then get labelled "a bully" or that they're "picking" on people.
Does Adhd cause bullying?
Claire 
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It doesn't cause bullying, however, there are certain symptoms that I believe can play a part in the development of a bully. But I do think ADHD does cause someone to be bullied. When I was a kid being bullied meant getting psychically beaten up, not like today when most bulling is done through social media. Because of my difficulties learning school I was an easy target. I was also tall for my age and very thin so I attracted the attention of all the "jocks" . Because of my undiagnosed ADHD I was the lazy, stupid unmotivated kid. Back in my day the teachers were not very supportive and anyone being picked on was usually accused of being the aggressor. I was no different, I didn't have any friends so it was easy to blame me as the one who started a fight. Every day in high school I got hit at least once. When I started to fight back and defend myself it only made it worse and my parents were called. My father didn't care what my side was, it was assumed that I started it and when I got home I got beaten up again. What made me angry was that years after high school I used to run into some classmates who would bring up the bullying I was subjected to and comment that how bad they felt for me. I then would ask if you felt so bad why didn't you stick up for me or defend me, I didn't mean psychically,but why didn't anyone go to the teachers or principal to tell them what really happened? could never get an answer. I told one classmate who I have known since 5 y/o that I tried 3 or 4 times to kill myself because of the abuse, at school and at home. Adults really let me down. I have always been referred to as a very nice, easy going person who would give the shirt off his back, even as a kid, but that had always been misinterpreted as being easy and weak. And 35 years later I still have a difficult time standing my ground because now I am a very big athletic man who is no accused of being intimidating. I was alway told I have to act differently because of my size, pretty much I'm being told that you don't have a right to stand your ground. This is something that has destroyed my self esteem and self confidence. I can go to the gym and feel right at home but outside of that I am a easy target. It's not just from guys with the "little man syndrome" There are more insecure people out there than I realized. I have paid a huge price for someone else's insecurities. I always thought if I had the type of parents and teachers that were supportive when I was young things would be different. Even today my mother still has this perception that I'm a bully only because of my size. As a kid my older brother would antagonize me to the point that my ADHD would come out, the nervousness and anxiety and all that goes with it. My mother would start with " are going to beat him up" "you think your a tough guy" and she would wack me with a broom and my brother would go off laughing. THis happened with the neigborhood kids also, my father used to hit me infront of them and it made a bad situation hell. I made myself a promise that I would never have kids, I don't want a kid to suffer what I have (ADHD) and I was afraid I might be like my parents. Although I control my ADD well, that hasn't stopped the people closest to me from treating me the same way they did when I was a kid. I finally had no choice recently to come to the decision to finally seperate myself from my family. The first half of my life was hell, and the beginning of the second wasn't any better. Everyday I think of suicide, wondering what my purpose is. Having ADD is hell enough but dealing with people who don't have but actually have other issues is something that I think all the time, not worth living. It was these people that I looked for when I needed support instead I found people who just really didn't care. I always say your parents set the foundation for your success, mine dug the hole and threw me in and walked away. I never bullied anyone I happy to say but ADHD sure caused me to be bullied and it destroyed my life.