Dear all,

Thank you in advance for taking the the time to read this.

I have noticed a pattern in the behavior of my boyfriend, which makes me very unconfortable and curious about his intentions.

We are together for 4 years, and I am definite that he loves me. However there is always a specific problem bringing a lot of tension among us. His women frinds, and let me explain.

He has the tendency to find women, much younger than him, usually very educated and very beautiful and to become very close to them, and eventually best friends. This pattern continues for the last years, each year a differenet woman.

It all starts with an interest of himself in their culture, that is different to the city he lives in Germany. The women have just relocated to his city, mostly by complete different cultures (Asia, Jordan, Israel, etc), mostly without any freinds in their new environment - all of them have relocated for work. He starts describing their discussions as fascinating. He starts giving them advises, spends every day with them, helping them out with everything they need, cooking for them at his house, drinking wine with them and gets more and more interested in this friendship. Where ever ghe goes, he brings the new girl.

Yes, he openly talks about me and how he is in love with me. And that is confusing me.

The pattern ususally depends on the girls' personality. One of them fell in love with him and was knocking on his door 4 in the morning with the excuse she forgot her keys. They were sleeping in the same bed and he was telling me that nothing happended. Usually they dont like me, and I dont like them even though I have tried to be polite and friendly. I admit that after a while the situation frustrates me.

Because of my work, now we are together via long distance. Of course there is a new girl again. A cute one I must admit, but still I am concerned again that she will be in love with him soon and I will not be there to recognize his intentions.

When we discussed about it, several times, I have explained how I feel and told him also that sometimes I feel jealous. He re assures me that he is not sexually interested, yet I dont believe that. He says that this is fis friend now and that I have to accept it. That I should not control him, because if I ask him "where did you go etc?" he will not tell me as he needs tyo feel independant and trusted.

This has been happening eve before me. While he was with his ex, he was doing the same and YES he has told me that he had sex with the girls- friends but the difference was that he was not in love with his ex. He doesnt like that he has done it and he says he will not do that with me.

The friendship goes beyond my borders (i.e. one sent him naked pictures to create videos as a surprise to her boyfriend, the other describes him how she has sex, the other is a dancer and he is more than happy to be in the first raw at her premiere when she dances completely naked, etc).

Please let me know of your thoughts, or any of similar experiences

Thank you again
Christina