Underground, your history is that of "neglect and abuse" and that is what the focus needs to be on the most. Most individuals that struggle with NPD are doing everything they can to hide "shame". The reason they do "not" empathize is because it would mean they have to be in touch with their own personal pain, and that is WAY too hard for them because they never had someone early on that helped them whenever they struggled emotionally.

Often people who struggle with complex PTSD are mislabeled with "narcissism" which ofcourse doesn't give them the help they need, tends to only end up where they are actually "punished" instead. Often these individuals "detach" and avoid others. The typical response to trauma is "avoidance" and there definitely "is" anger involved too.

I think what "you" need to understand is how much of you is "normal" too. It is "normal" to have a kind of work place mask, everyone has that to a certain extent. It is normal to struggle with hurts/challenges from others too. And not having a lot of friends, well, that is actually normal too, friends "are" a lot of work to maintain. Most people have very few people they can actually call "friends", less than a handful, if lucky even just one true friend, so it isn't easy.

You certainly don't need a therapist that is going to be negative towards you, that has been the very thing that made you the way you are.