Funny, my T is very much the same. No touching/hugging, nearly no out of session contact, I call her Dr. T. And it got to a point where I just couldn't talk to her. I told her that I can't address her as Dr. anymore, it feels wrong to me. I almost tried to manipulate her into changing some of her boundaries - either we use our first names, or I just quit. Well, she told me she won't change a thing, it's for my own good. So I terminated it with her.

And then I came back when I realised she really cares about me. Her words, her texts, everything she did...she was very kind and genuine. Our next session, I felt the real connection, her boundaries are her boundaries - I want to respect them.

It's interesting, 'cause with my ex-T we had the touching and the hugging, emails and texts without limitations etc., but with all that she just fostered my dependency. When I needed her support the most, she just was distant and defensive (unlike my current T). In the end, I just quit when her behavior became progressively unprofessional.

So, I guess for me it's not about whether boundaries are hard or soft. It's about the person that sets them.