Well, it's been nearly a month. Things are going a little bit better communication wise, but relationship wise they seem to have deteriorated. That could possibly be because my aunt has been staying at our house for the last 3 weeks. It has put a great strain on our communication and our interaction. When she is around, my SO goes to another room and works. I have tried to be open and admit that I am unhappy, try to find a solution for both of us, try to be open to his input and to be aware that our schedules are different.

He was just promoted in his job, too, which means he will be working the night shift for the forseeable future. At least several years. To me, that feels like it may be the stick that broke the camel's back, per se.

It seems like I have done everything to make this work. I moved, I relocated my horses, I transferred offices for my job, I have taken on the role of the keeper of the house. Its like I've done everything conceivable to make this relationship work and commit to it and I look at what he has done. Has he even done anything? All he can bring up is the fact he watches TV less. But, quite honestly, I need more than someone that watches TV less.

It seems all we are doing is fighting. He cries every time I try to talk with him and asks if I am leaving him. How many times does he have to bring it up before I say yes? NO, I say, I am trying to work this out. I LOVE him. But I cannot be this unhappy. I need something. The things I need are companionship. I need HIM. And I don't feel like I have him. If I can't have him, because of his schedule, I get that-- but then I need my horses. I need my other passion in life. And, right now, living in the city I have to choose between seeing my partner or seeing my horses.

Its really difficult. I don't want to be a quitter. But I also have been miserable for 6 months. I just want to be as important to him as he has been to me.