Behavior is not illness, just symptoms of an illness. All of what you describe are forms of anxiety, having the illusion that we are in control or can be in control of our environment and/or ourselves and others. Like most other mental difficulties, anxiety is on a continuum. Why we want things to be "perfect" and how we define "perfect" make a difference too. If I want to propose to my significant other and want to try and create the "perfect" evening, there is nothing wrong with that. But I think it is our attitude when things don't go exactly as planned that is the key.

My husband took me to a formal garden park to propose and wanted to do it in the main cupola on the grounds but the moment he thought it was right, suddenly a group took over that cupola! Even when he found a smaller one, when he was in the middle of the proposal more people came in it with us. We found it funny but we could have been annoyed or he could have stomped off with an "Everything's ruined!" attitude? I think he and I are so right for one another because we can work well together, could both see the humor in the situation and enjoy that as part of the experience and memory instead of trying to make the situation conform to what we had imagined. My fondest memory of the day is (we'd been living together/dating for 5 years specifically working toward this day) realizing he was proposing to me and my panicked thought, "What do I do? Do I want to marry him?" Fortunately I could see the humor in that thought/panic, too.

Anxiety is a complex beast. My stepmother was a perfectionist and I learned some of that and mixed it with my own innate anxieties. The mixture took several years of therapy to sort out and "fix" so I could live a more comfortable (to me) lifestyle.