This is interesting as many clients, including myself seek therapy partly because of attachment issues. As you say, to some people their T become a very important person and when one loses it, itīs like losing a relative or even worse sometimes.
If therapy isnīt that helpful, what to do instead? Iīve read several books about T:s who describe therapy with several of their clients and how they act out, yell and so on. In those books, the T:s who all works within PDT stay understanding and compassionate and they donīt get defensive when their clients act out. In almost every case their clients have had attachment issues.
But those cases seem quite rare, thatīs why I say T:s often do more harm than good, because they act like they have a private relation with clients who they can "get back at".
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Originally Posted by Lauliza
I do agree that fostering dependence in clients probably does more harm than good in many clients. Ts should know more than they do about child and human development across the lifespan (one class doesn't cut it, in my opinion). Attachment issues are very complicated and Ts don't often fully comprehend the depth of the distress people feel when faced with loss. That's why I don't always think talk therapy is terribly helpful to some people with attachment issues because of the intimate nature of it. The inability to compartmentalize the therapeutic relationship creates a lot of confusion and opens people up for so much pain. I think his is why I've always leaned toward CBT and DBT- the less intimate nature of it eliminate some of that risk. There is often still a relationship but it is very well defined with concrete boundaries. Therapists who become the equivalent of a paid friend or a person's only support system are dangerous. I don't think these Ts are well versed in attachment issues and what they can look like if they aren't treated in childhood. They are also somewhat self serving and not even remotely aware of the consequences of their actions.
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