Because whenever I cried as a child I got yelled at. If it was in public I got told that everyone was wondering what was wrong with "that [insulting word in my language that I don't know how to translate]".

Then when I started school I'd start crying whenever I made a mistake since I was sure I'd get yelled at. Then my classmates started bullying me for it. Not crying just seemed like the safer way of living.

I'm 23 years old now and just last week I was watching a movie in the cinema. It was just me in the middle and a group of maybe 5 people in the back. I found the main character's situation to be unusually relatable. By the end of the movie she was clearly sure that her sister would be furious with her. Instead her sister gave her a big hug. My eyes just started stinging and watering and I had to get my 3D glasses out of the way. Then the movie ended. The group behind me got up to leave and I got scared. Completely out of reflex I turned my head away and pretended to be looking for something in my bag.