Please, please don't feel guilty for wanting therapy for free at the county clinic. Every civilized nation has the obligation to assist those who aren't able to pay for therapy. The clinic intake people and therapists would be so happy to help someone like you who is as responsible and who has a wife and child he is committed to. Just think of how much better a citizen and provider you will be with your problems resolved. And how much happier you and your wife will be! That is what clinics and therapists are all about! And it isn't really free because the federal and local resources pay. You pay taxes aplenty, plus SS, and are doing your part. And you remind me of myself because I go to a county clinic and don't pay, yet I'm not psycho and not a menace to society. Also, when you start with the therapist, you should bring that guilty feeling up right away and settle your mind about it. Also, there are other private therapists and psychiatric clinics, in most cities, who accept a sliding scale. I once saw a chart online of how a sliding scale generally breaks down, and was surprised how beneficial it is.
With insurance it's necessary to get an order from the p-doc; but if you don't use your insurance for therapy, you certainly don't have to get his advice or permission.