Hi denseheartofglass. Welcome to pc. I am so sorry you are having so much pain right now. I am sorry you have had a hurtful experience with this young man. Your story sounds very similar to things I experienced as a teenager. Sometimes we find that having sex is not the be all wonderful thing we thought it would be.

Seeing a new therapist would be a good idea. If you are feeling suicidal, do get help. There are also hotlines you can call posted on pc. Or, in an emergency call 911. You deserve to have a better life than having depression and anxiety. Also, you should have a boyfriend who is good to you and lifts you up, rather than criticizes or insults you. Rather than sex, it would be good to find a young guy to spend time with, share interests or hobbies with, and also a friendship with.

My heart goes out to you. Best of wishes. You may pm me if you wish.