About 2 weeks ago I was completely in love with my girlfriend. We have been together for a year and 6 months and in those two weeks I was also suffering from a random bout of insomnia and depression. It was horrible. I eventually got my sleep back and the depression faded but something much worse kicked in; my OCD. My gf and I were texting and she was telling me that her head hurt and that it has been like this for a few days. And an evil voice in my head said “well I wish I could tell you I care but I don’t”. I knew this was my OCD but this time I couldn’t fight it. I was scared from that day that I didn’t care about her, and since that day my emotions and my “in love” feeling have completely faded. I used to get anxious if she didn’t text back for an hour or two and be so happy when she finally did. And now if she takes awhile to text back, it doesn’t affect me. I don’t get anxious anymore, what I get anxious about is that those feelings are never going to come back and that I’m going to fall out of love with her and break up with her. I want my feelings back. My OCD took them from me and now I cant even feel for my girlfriend. I’m extremely dependednt and clingy to her and now it is the complete opposite and it’s depressing me. I’m so f****** sad. Now I’m so irritable around her. I want to be in love again. I don’t want anyone else but her and I want to spend my life with her. Typing that even felt weird. Please tell me what I can do to stop feeling this way. I’m desperate. I want my happiness and love back for my gf. This is ruining my life. I would rather go through depression again than this.
|