Hello, I'm really hoping someone can help. I'm 37 years old and have always had a roller coaster relationship with my mom. She's never been the affectionate kind even though I am an only child. I got along with my dad more than with her. She always made me feel like I never made her proud regardless of what I accomplished because it wasn't what SHE wanted me to accomplish. I am now happily married with two beautiful young children that she has rarely seen. She acts as though everyone needs to cater to her, call her, check in on her and when I stop or slow down (I had a full time job also), she says that it's because I don't want to have a relationship with her. This could not be further from the truth! I can't even count on both hands the amount of times we've gone thru this and talked it over and moved on.
Unfortunately the situation has drastically changed. My dad's health has deteriorated in the last several years with him going in and out of the hospital constantly, early this week being the latest. It's heartbreaking especially because I live on the opposite side of the country. I've tried calling my mom but she has refused to speak to me. I know this is another one of her selfish tantrums because she felt I didn't call enough and therefore "must have not been interested in keeping in touch with her". My dad begged her to please talk to me while she was in his hospital room and she walked out. He even told her she was making this harder for him and still wouldn't do it. I promised my dad that i would do whatever it takes to make things right, whether i think she's being self centered and selfish is besides the point. I will try for him. After that fiasco, i couldn't help but think what a horrible person she was for not doing this for him. Here's her husband, in a hospital room, sick, and she acts like this is about her! Today I tried unsuccessfully getting ahold of her until I called him tonight and she answered his cell. I said "Mom", nothing, she handed the phone to my dad. I know this is affecting my dad and I hate her for not caring. He may need surgery in the next couple days so I said to just concentrate on getting better and I would do what I can. I find relief that he knows it's not me, it's her but I can't wrap my head around this. I'm willing to make amends and apologize for whatever it is she's upset about but she's making this so extremely difficult, especially when she won't take my calls. Any input, thoughts are greatly appreciated.