Quote:
Originally Posted by CosmicRose
Well for one, the fact that you have a college degree to me doesn't sound like self sabotage. You realize not everyone has a degree, right? That's a great thing to have and something to be extremely proud of yourself for. So with said degree, I'm not sure why you would assume you'll be working a cash register at CVS? Is that something you actually want to do? No? Then do something you actually want to do. We only get one life, and there isn't a second chance when the goose is cooked. Pretend each day is your last - no really - imagine each day is your last. Really live from that sense of wonder and appreciation. When you're doing that, you won't even have time to think about self sabotage because it won't make sense to you.
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I get what you're saying, and it feels stupid to me to constantly make myself live a life I hate when I should have the tools I need to live a life I enjoy or even love. But, just knowing that doesn't really help me. As soon as something good happens, I instantly find a way to turn it into a potential disaster and convince myself that I'm not good enough and that I'll just screw it up and fail again. So, I throw away a great opportunity rather than risk failure. I do it with work, I do it with relationships. I don't feel I'm worthy, so I just don't show up. And then everything gets even worse because I've failed yet again. I've been following this pattern for 15+ years...it's tough to break no matter how dumb I realize it is.