Hi Humpty Dumpty
I'm sorry you are in so much pain and struggling. I wish I had good words of advice..... I really think you need to find that trust again in doctors. Maybe try not to base all possible help on one experience that made you angry. One nurse that did something you didn't want.
I know a 72 hour hold probably was not fun.
I think you could give the meds a good chance, see if you can get a real therapist, not a hynotherapist as you had. Some kind of counseling. I hope you'll find help here. Plenty of caring people willing to listen.