I have really good reason to believe I am being hurt at home during my sleep

I try to avoid sleeping at night because of this, I have stopped taking all medications and I drink caffeine before bed to help me stay awake

I fell asleep last night before the sun could come up , and I don't know what time that was and I woke up after the sun had already rose and I can't help but feel panicky and disappointed in myself that I could not keep myself protected at night

I want to talk about it, talking helps me, but i can't figure out how to explain what is going on, I can't figure out how to express my feelings and tell people (online or off) that this is how I am feeling and this is why I know I am being hurt at night

recently I was treated for an STD which automatically proves to me that something is happening in my sleep

I want to talk about it, I want people to hear me becuaase I have been quiet about this for so long that I'm going to explode if I don't share, but no one listens to me and no one seems interested in me or seems to care what I need to talk about