It's almost like I am continually have to remind him I love him. Like he is incredibly insecure. I try to point out that my being there, talking, communicating is a sign I am trying to work on things. But, its like just bringing up these subjects are an afront to him.

When I bring up moving, he reminds me he just bought his new house in September of last year and there is no way he can move right now. He tells me maybe in a year, at LEAST, we can talk about it. I ask him why and he says he wants to gain more equity in the house before he sells so he can get his entire deposit back. Which, on one hand I understand, but on the other hand -- who knows how long that could last? Sometimes, we have to do things that require SACRIFICE. Like, my getting rid of all my things (we had 2 of everything, washer/dryer, fridge, etc.) so I had to just up and get rid of mine and sell them or give them away since moving them was going to cost more than just giving them away. And I now pay a substantial amount of money to keep my horses boarded, nearly twice what it costs to keep them with me on property.

Sorry, as you can tell, I'm frustrated. I asked him yesterday if he realized that he was prioritizing EVERYTHING before me. His job, his house, etc. That he was asking me to be put on hold and to just be unhappy until everything ELSE got in sync so he could sell at profit, so he could work in his ideal job, etc.

Yesterday we did have a very serious talk and I told him I wanted him to write down 5 things he would do for our relationship to help us make it through this 'year' he indicates it would take to sell the house. He told me he would do it. So, we'll see.

I am very frustrated and sometimes it feels like I'm being unrealistic. But, I deserve to be happy. I told him the things that make me happy are 1) him, 2) my horses, 3) the country/living in nature. And I pointed out to him I barely see him, I rarely see my horses, and I am living in a concrete jungle. I have sacrified the most important things in my life to make this relationship work and the way I see it, he hasn't sacrificed anything.

It just makes me so sad. Because, on a personality level, we get along really well. But, its almost like we would make GREAT friends but he just won't make a great PARTNER for me. Maybe a girl that likes the city, can be alone and has a big friend group etc. But, that's not me.