how old are you? if you're old enough to support yourself, cut your mother out. my mother is a sociopath. i do not talk to her. my grandmother also probably has undiagnoised BPD. i can't deal with these people, they drive me insane. i don't really care if they think i'm making everything up - i know what i've been through, and i partly blame most of them (my family) for my "mental disorders". as i believe my "condition" is environmental.

seeing a therapist may help, also if you could find a support group to go and dump all your feelings out (even to just ramble your thoughts) that really helps. i used to go to schizophernics anonymous in the city i used to live in. it's designed sort of as a AA meeting in the way you can share your thoughts anonymously. that helped me a lot. you make friends with other people who can relate, you get out of the house and you get the crap out of your mind. plus theres usually coffee and cookies. hahahaha.

guilt trips are a form of manipulation. don't be manipulated any longer by someone who's only concern is their own feelings. i don't know your whole situation, but my heart goes out to you. you can send me a private message if you want to discuss further anything that is on your mind. take care of yourself.