sorry...gonna kinda ramble...don't bother reading this one....

i can't sleep cause the pain so i'll type

my arm feels like there are a bunch of little cenitpedes wearing ice skates with razors for blades skating along on my arm.

it had been a looong time since i burned myself...forgot how freak'n much it hurts

making good use of the bags of frozen brocolli though!

strange....i feel so totally normal one minute...then i think of the fact that i can do something like scratch, cut, burn myself?? that's not normal is it

on the one hand i could describe myself and my life and you'd think i was completely together...on the other, i'm a nut

i don't know if i have a problem or not...

i want to go out on short term disability...my company has that...but then i think am i just being lazy, not wanting to deal with my boss (think 'the devil wears prada')

of course if i'm fired next week won't have to deal wiht her

i don't know im tired of feeling so incompetent

i want someone to help me ...i think i need help?

i feel stupid

why can't i keep it together

sorry if anyone bothered reading this ...its after 2am and i'm grumpy and sleepy but can't sleep

i hope if some one does read this that you are in a happier place than i am