Hi Humpty Dumpty,
I am sorry for all the pain you are feeling. I see you are hanging on for your wife. I have to do that sometime when I have experienced suicidal ideation. I will hang on for my children, dog, etc. Some docs and therapists can be a huge disappointment. But don't give up, Try a different doc or therapist. You are a worthwhile person and you deserve quality treatment.

Keep posting to us. That also helps sometimes. You are not alone. We are here with you.