((((hugs)))) No, you aren't dumb.

It is natural curiousity to know more about someone you need to trust. Your T shouldn't quit you because of this one time.

Please do discuss it with her if it continues to bother you. Nothing should be in the way of good, honest communication with your therapist, imo.

Why not leave the paper at home, not carry it with you? Not only will this allay your fears of dropping it etc, but it will help you not stalk your T, as driving by could become a habit if you feed it, and you don't want that.